Much has been made of the seeming lack of future here in this little game of ours. I suppose I can't really argue with that any more. This blog has failed to garner the attention I was hoping it would, and most of the projects referred to within are pretty much dead.
But that doesn't mean the game is altogether bleak. While I don't think we're headed for an imminent demise, I suppose it's time to admit that we might be nearing our twilight years. If these are our twilight years, however, I think it's a great time to turn an eye backwards and reflect.
I'm quite pleased with what I've accomplished in this game. I remain hopelessly ambitious with ridiculously lofty goals, but I can't complain about where I've been. And while, with GCW doing so well these days, I don't have many moments of waning enthusiasm, those few I do are easily remedied with a quick glance through my extensive archives.
One of my fondest memories is my first; the day I joined my first fed and wrote the RP in the post below this one. Caldera was actually just my create-a-player on No Mercy on the N64, but I absolutely fantasized about being a wrestler. This was 1999 and wrestling was still hot, and I wanted to be a part of it.
The ACWF was great. Sure, it sucked, it was an email fed, but it was great. Roster of maybe fifteen, pretty sharp fedhead, it was a blast. I can honestly say that there were exactly two moments when my heart rate actually rose on account of this game: one was the PPV where I won my first World Title, the other was scrolling down the PTC website for the results of the Kimbusa/Violence Jack match in GTT3.
(I will never forget the judge who wrote that I had "outwritten, outclassed, and basically made a fool out of Violence Jack." If you are that judge, please step forward and admit the ludicrousness of that statement.)
Hell, I've still got the finish from that ACWF PPV where I beat Big Daddy Dero in a tournament final:
Jim Ross: I CANT BELIEVE THIS MAN!!!!! Big Daddy Dero somehow, kicked out right before the three and Caldera is pissed!!!! And uh-oh!!! Mr. Danger sees the chair in the ring still, and there is blood on that chair, as well as on Dero's head!
[ Mr. Danger picks up the chair. He sees that blood is on the chair as well as on Dero's head. He is shouting something at Caldera who is just looking innocent. ]
Jim Ross: Danger is putting two and two together, and he knows Caldera used that chair! He and Caldera are arguing about it!!!
Jerry Lawler: Look out! Dero is very slowly getting up, blood dripping from his face! He is a bloody mess!!!!
[ As Dero gets up, Danger and Caldera are arguing. Mr. Danger then winds up the chair, and goes to hit Caldera.. Just at the last second he stops in mid air, turns around.. and smashes the chair over Big Daddy Dero's head. The crowd gives a "uuuu" then is silent ]
Jim Ross: (pauses) WHAT THE HELL IS THIS????
Jerry Lawler: Did I just see what I think I saw?????
Jim Ross: MR. DANGER!!!!!! JUST SMASHED THE CHAIR OVER DERO'S HEAD!!!!!! Mr. Danger throws the chair to the outside, and points down at Dero and is laughing!
Jerry Lawler: What is going on JR? I can't believe this!!!!
Jim Ross: Caldera picks up Dero, and hooks both arms! He lifts him up in the air, CALDERA DROP!!!! Danger for the count. One, two, three!!!!!
[ The Sickness by Disturbed begins to play. The fans are totally disgusted as they boo and start throwing trash at the ring. Mr. Danger runs to the outside and grabs the belt. He comes back into the ring, and he and Caldera embrace with a big hug. Mr. Danger then gives Caldera the belt, and raises his hand. They hug again. ]
The Fink: Here is your winner, and the NEEEEWWWWWW ACWF World Heavyweight Champion, STEVEN CALDERA!!!!
Jim Ross: I can't believe it!!! THEY SCREWED US ALL!!!! Mr. Danger and Steve Caldera were together all along, and this makes me SICK!!!! Big Daddy Dero is bloody and beaten at the hands of Steve Caldera and Mr. Danger!! Caldera is the new champion of the world, but at what cost?
Jerry Lawler: Danger and Caldera are both walking up the ramp laughing!!! What fools everyone here is!!! They never saw this coming! What a fool you are JR!!
Jim Ross: Ah shut UP! Mr. Danger, shocks the world here tonight in Kansas City!! What a DEADLY DECISION he has just made!!! Right here in his hometown!!!!! They played each and every one of us!! Fans, our time is up. For Jerry Lawler, I'm Jim Ross saying goodnight from KC...... This is just sickening!!!!!!
[ We see a shot of Caldera holding up the belt at the entrance to the back. We then see a shot of referees helping Dero up who is laying in a pool of his own blood in the ring. Camera fades out and the show ends. ]
Gotta love that Disturbed entrance music!
That was the last time I was solely a handler. I suppose I handled Kimbusa a bit in OSW, and I did a stint in FSW. I also handled in the AWA for a while and won three world titles from '01 to '02, but GCW always dominated my e-career. So I look back to that first fed, the only time I was a true handler, and kinda appreciate the simplicity of it all. Not that I don't love being a fedhead, because I'd never be able to be a handler again. But there was something about the atmosphere, where everyone was more or less equal in their suckitude, that made the whole thing special.
Maybe that's where this blog needs to go from here. Maybe the entire game is getting to that point. Not that we all suck, but that we're all pretty darn good. And that first fed experience, those lower expectations where the only goal was to enjoy oneself, that's something special that's somehow been lost on this game.
With all the politicking and positioning, rivalries and divisive personal issues, and grand ambitions to pursue some massive WO-type organizational system, the simplicity in this game is somewhat lost. I admit that I scan the "lesser" feds on Geocities and Freewebs, look at the images made with WWE wrestlers, and wonder if maybe they've got it right and we've got it wrong.
So I suppose you can consider this a shift in intent. I'm not really concerned with creating some grand new entity to unite the e-wrestling world, because the time for such things is past. There are larger communities out there than ours, but ours undeniably has the best talent. Perhaps we need to shrink things down a bit, lower our expectations and take the game at face value. Get back to the basics where we take sheer joy out of the posting of an event, the winning of a match, and the execution of a hot angle more than the single-minded intent of getting oneself noticed.
I've always carried the spirit of the ACWF with me. GCW has undeniably surpassed it, and did so long ago. I always remembered where I came from. But in my zeal to step up as a leader for this community I might have lost sight of that heart-pumping joy I once got from this game. I think we all have, to varying degrees.
Some are, perhaps, beyond reclamation. But for those of us who still have a passion for the game, however dormant, I think we should buckle down and focus in on what we're doing and why. Perhaps it's time to forget about PTC as an interfed and focus on our own feds, and simply use PTC as a gathering place for like-minded individuals to congregate. There's still passion out there, and that's what should be targeted; this game won't be saved by some new interfed or fancy website, but rather by a rekindling of the sheer, unrestrained joy of playing the game.
I'm still a tremendous wrestling fan, but I've got nowhere to get my fix. Part of the problem with this game is that a large percentage of the people around here just grew out of wrestling. I, myself, did not. But I'd wager that there's still some hidden love of wrestling buried in anyone who would chance to read this blog. WWE certainly doesn't offer an outlet. So maybe we should stop being so cerebral, so damn talented, and get back to the basics of wrestling and have some simple fun with it.
The game can continue to innovate and our talent can continue to thrive. But now I want to look at the heart of the game rather than the structure, because that's where its soul lies.
