An Eye to the Future

As has become custom, this post is mostly made in response to someone else's. Pete wrote a clarification on his post yesterday in an attempt to explain his thinking.

But my approach here isn't really one of debate, but more one of personal revelation. I feel that, if I am to be one of the leaders of a new movement in e-wrestling, people should be fully aware of my motivations and my thinking. So consider this the bearing of my e-wrestling soul.

Pete and I have developed what I feel to be a very constructive dialogue in our dueling blogs of late. I'm most happy that it turned out this way because Pete and I have worked together for a long time, and we've always challenged each other on our ideas and theories as they pertain to this game (as well as cooking and boobs, on which Pete is an authority). But of late, something has troubled me about Pete, and perhaps about a small portion of the e-wrestling community.

I've made no secret of the fact that my time in this game is nearing its end. I'm certainly not planning on leaving any time in the immediate future, but I am finally nearing graduation at Ohio State and when I get that degree, I hope to focus all my energy on a career. While I haven't advertised this for obvious reasons, I've always been honest about it to people who ask. It's not for lack of love for this game, but simply the fact that I feel I've taken a lot from this game and I can now seriously look at turning that knowledge into a profitable writing career. Yeah, I'll retire, but I'll always carry this game with me on some level, because it's made me better at what I do. And when I get my first book published, you can bet you'll see a note on the title page that reads "Ryan Murray can kiss my ass."

And yes, the game is waning, people are leaving and moving on and there is no new blood flowing in with the loss of interest in pro wrestling. But this is my source of concern as it pertains to Pete, PTC and anyone that shares his opinions: they are hopelessly pessimistic.

I'm not picking on Pete because his ideas are definitely rooted in sound logic. He's not just trying to bring down the game out of mere grumpiness. But I cannot continue to participate in this game with that attitude ruling my actions. It is true that my time in this game is limited, but why should that mean the game has to disappear when I leave? When I close my eyes, the world does not disappear. Just because I'm gone doesn't mean I shouldn't assume this game won't last forever.

My mind has admittedly begun to turn to other projects. I've got an idea for a novel I'd love to start working on, I'm exploring the possibility of a career in sports journalism, and I'm really committed to the work I do for school. Because the e-wrestling community in general has aged, I think a lot of us are beginning to look at those same sorts of goals and it's drawing us away from the game. I won't argue with anyone who looks at the situation and comes to the conclusion that the future for the game is bleak, because that's a fair assessment.

But I would also say this to you: get out. And I don't mean that maliciously or in a hateful spirit, but it's more of a challenge. If you think the game is dead in a year, and you find the state of the game quite bleak, what's the point? What are any of us working for if it's utterly futile? If you're just sitting around waiting for the game to fade away, go find something that inspires you a bit more.

But for me, e-wrestling still inspires me and the people in this game still inspire me. They inspire me to keep working hard with an eye to a limitless future. Will the game be dead in a year? Sure, it's possible. But I won't operate under that assumption. I'm going to continue to do what I do under the assumption that this game can still go on for as long as we choose to do it.

This, again, is why I remain critical of the situation in PTC and highly motivated to create something new. There are still people in this community who are very excited about the prospects for the future, and we are doing something about it. Unfortunately, some of our community leaders continue to spout this message of doom and gloom. Again, this isn't a personal attack on Pete or anyone else, because I know exactly where they're coming from. But I would suggest that anyone in this game who isn't interested in innovating and planning for a long and prosperous future should consider stepping aside to let someone new try their hand.

Pete likes statistics, so I'll offer some of my own. If four years ago the PTC/WO portion of the game contained, say, 1000 active members, maybe 50 of those were extremely talented, giving you about 5% big contributors. If today those numbers are closer to 100 but you've got 60 great contributors, that's 60% great talent. Perhaps the numbers have dwindled, but what the game lacks in breadth it makes up for in depth. This community has never been more talented nor more committed. That, to me, is cause for tremendous optimism.

Yes, interest in the game is much reduced, and it's odd to find so many people in the game comment that they really don't care for wrestling much at all. But look at this in its simplest terms: we have a community of about 100 writers, many of which are good, several of which are very good, and a handful of which are ridiculously good. Right now you could take the lowest person on any roster in PTC and pit them against the best writer of 5 years ago and have a pretty good matchup. The quantity of this game is way down, but the quality of work is vastly improved.

Which brings me back to the GCW/PRIME show. Yeah, its quality was low, and yeah, 100% of all interfed shows have sucked. But you know what? I don't care. I don't care at all, and nobody that was involved with it cares. Because it was a sign of life. If you look at it not as a show but as a declaration from a group of people, you'd see it as a loud and proud statement that there are those of us that are looking to the future of the game. Though our time in the game may be limited we are not going to operate like it is; what's the point in going through the motions until it's time to leave? Why can't we build up a grand crescendo and go out with a bang rather than a whimper?

I fully believe there is a foundation for this game for a few more years to come. Hell, it'll never fully die, even if it's only carried on in Geocities feds until wrestling rises again (and it will). But there is still passion for this game. And there are still a solid number of talented writers and hard workers ready and willing to keep things going. So while I cannot argue with the logic that the game is in dire straits, I will absolutely, vehemently argue that unapologetic pessimism has no place in this game right now. It serves no purpose other than to remind people of what they already know and accomplishes absolutely nothing.

So I'm going to continue planning big things for this game, because people out there want something new. And something new is coming. I may only have a year left in the game, but why should that be anything less than my best effort? Why can't I have high ambitions to accomplish more in this year than in any year prior? And why can't the same go for everyone else?

This blog is meant to construct and create dialogue. My entire presence in this game right now is dedicated to creating an amazing fed experience for everyone in GCW, and to utilize GCW to create an amazing experience for everyone else. The GCW/PRIME show might not have created a great show for onlookers to read, but it did something for the members of both feds. It sparked a new interest, it proved that the possibilities for this game are limitless and there's a reason to continue on. And you know what? If every interfed show to come after this one sucks, I still won't care, because at least we're putting ourselves out there trying to accomplish something, rather than sitting around lamenting the game that could have been.

I respect the hell out of everyone who's stuck with this game and worked hard over the years. Pete most of all. But anyone who is simply hanging around and waiting for the end needs to take a good hard look at what they're doing in this game. There is huge enthusiasm out there still, and that's why you're finding so many defenders of the show. They don't want to hear people say the show was bad, because they want everyone to know that that's not why they did it. We didn't make this show to make a great show (well, we did, and we will, but that's not the point). We made this show because of what it symbolizes; a new beginning for a game that had nothing new to tout for a long time.

Yeah, I've only got a year left in this game. But if you think I'm going to simply half-ass it until then with no concern for the state of the game after I leave, you're dead wrong. Perhaps I will fail miserably, and perhaps I'm overestimating the resolve of the people in this game. I guess we'll find out. But if there is even the slightest capacity left in this game for innovation and tremendous fun, I'll do whatever it takes to squeeze that out. I'm not alone in this. I talk to a number of people every day about the subject, and I know there are more out there. But this is more an extension of my own personality than anything else; there's nothing worth doing that isn't worth doing 110%. If this game isn't worth someone's full energy and excitement, that's fine. That doesn't mean you shouldn't continue to play as long as you get some enjoyment out of it. But if you're not interested in giving it your all, I think it's not unreasonable to ask that you not impede the progress of those who are trying their damnedest to make something happen.